I went to a jazz show last night..and listennnn..my ears did not love it.
But I was intrigued.
Because I saw so many people around me who were absolutely VIBING. Especially the members of the jazz band. They felt something in the music that I very clearly did not.
Thats when I realized that there really is something out there for everyone. And your cup of tea may not be someone else’s.
You’re probs like yeah duh we’ve known this, Lily. But IDK sometimes you just need a real life reminder. I think *occasionally* doing something you don’t really enjoy (as long as its not harmful to you) is a great way to ground back into your personal sovereignty.
Like that jazz show for example. Going to it wasn’t going to hurt me, it just wasn’t something I’d typically opt in to do.
It reminded me that I get to choose.
Which is exactly what I’ve been needing.
I’ve been sitting in a defeated and powerless space recently and it’s all rooted in INDECISION. I’ve been the definition of flaky recently for no good reason other than feeling insecure in my path.
In the past couple of weeks I’ve caught myself multiple times saying, “I wish someone would just tell me what to do”
At the time, the idea of that felt comfortable. It felt like taking the issue out of my hands and letting someone else figure it out for me.
This morning after my ears got to recover for the sweet chaos of jazz melodies, I realized how out of my power I’ve been and how absurd the idea of wishing someone would tell me what to do is.
Most people aspire to reach a point where they get to choose and customize every aspect of their lives. Where they get to decide their path and how they want to journey along it.
Meanwhile, I’ve had that freedom in my lap all along and yet I’ve been hiding from the juicy opportunity to just decide.
HOT GIRLS DON’T GATEKEEP (probs my current fave tiktok trend btw) so here’s a couple things I’m doing to get back into that good good energy of sovereignty & empowerment:
Changing my hair — This may not be the case for everyone, but for me new hair = new me. I’ve been some variation of platinum blonde for the past 12 years and it’s time for something new. Going darker next week for the first time ever..eeeeep!
ClassPass — I can’t tell you the last time I was a fitness class girlie. UNTIL NOW. Obsessed with this app. Being able to try new classes as I wish really satisfies my libra self. Starting this routine before the new year also makes me feel excited to have something to get back into after the bustle of the holidays!
New Smells — Both around the house and on me! I made my first big girl fragrance purchase the other month (Byredo Bal d’Afrique) and it really helps me get into the vibe of my future self. I also like to order new scents for my Pura each month instead of sticking with the same over and over. It’s an easy way to reprogram your subconscious into a new level!
Tapping back into creativity — 2022 was my left brain year. My masculine, logical side really came out to play. It’s time to balance things back out. I’m painting again along with enjoying photography. I hope to make something in 2023, but for now I’m enjoying the idea of making moves in silence lol.
Let’s do this again soon, K?
xx,
Lily