As I analyze my history as a creative, I’ve noticed that my default headspace tends to be in resistance of that “full creation mode” I’m a Mani Gen with a lot of old shame stories okay?! I have nonstop ideas. I could live in that phase of a project forevvvvver. Frustration over incompletion and failure has led me to just turn off the turbo mode creativity that could be running through my brain each day.
I’m reading Rick Rubin’s The Creative Act: A Way of Being and it honestly has my art school soul singing. Feels like I’m back in the critique room going deep on conceptual work. I hated it back then, but I’m finding myself thriving for that now. Sometimes I wish I let myself experience art school more fully — that’s a podcast episode I’m releasing soon.
BASICALLY, I went through some deep dark mental trenches in February..which seems to happen like every year? February tends to be my death/rebirth month. Coming out of it I radically updated some old subconscious beliefs and quantum leaped into a whole new existence rather quickly.
It’s cool because I can’t really give it a word, or a theme, or a tag line. Probably because it is just…me? We’re firing on all cylinders simply creating and most importantly, expressing the creativity. No more pushing it down. No more holding onto it til it’s “perfect”
So that’s why I’m painting, and podcasting, and sending out newsletters, and making tiktoks. Because I’ve got that Mani Gen infinite energy and I may as well fckin use it.
xx, lil